Romeo Dance Cheetah

After a two week break for the Olympics, America’s Got Talent returned last night with the worst show of a terrible season. It was so bad, changing the channel was actually recommended.

The YouTube show has always been hit or miss. Some acts have thrived in past seasons, such as Jackie Evancho. However, most acts crack under pressure and bomb because they have never performed in front of a live audience before. Ten of the 12 acts that performed fell into the latter group. Only two acts from last night’s AGT deserve to go through to the next round.

Clint Carvalho and His Extreme Parrots
Clint Carvalho introduced America to Kitten, who he called “the Evel Knievel of parrots.” Kitten did a freefall from the 180-foot Robert Treat Tower, flew through the lobby of the theater, over the heads of the audience, and into Carvalho’s hand. It was amazing to see such a well trained bird. However, this cannot be made into a show because it would get old fast. Carvalho says he has more birds and stunts that are just as good, so we shall she what happens.

Reverse Order
Reverse Order is a mediocre band. As Howie said, “[they] look like young guys acting like a rock band.” Reverse Order’s trouble began when they made the odd decision to sing Katy Perry’s “I Kissed a Girl.” Any rock band worth their guitars would only sing that song ironically. Instead, this group sang their hearts out, knowing that this was a their chance at stardom. It did not work because of Reverse Order’s inexperience. To make things worse, there are better rock covers of “I Kissed a Girl” out there, so it is not like their performance an be written off as a bad song choice.

Rudy Coby
Rudy Coby is a dark magician and friend of Marilyn Manson. He is talented, but the buildup to the trick took too long, which resulted in both Howie and Sharon buzzing him. The first half of the act consisted of Coby making a doll dance, which had not payoff until the very end. He should have gone straight to the end when he turns into a life-size version of the doll. The ending was impressive. If he cut to the chase, Coby could have his own show, but right now he is just another magician with no timing that losing the audience before he has a chance to blow their minds.

7 in Unison7 in Unison is another good, but boring dance act. There is really not much else to say about them.

Drew Erwin
Drew Erwin received the highest number of votes in the YouTube contest. He sang Natalie Imbruglia’s 90s hit “Torn.” Preteen girls will love him. Everyone else will think he’s only ok. His nerves got to him and his inexperience showed. He is only 16 and needs time to mature as a singer.

Melinda Hill
If Melinda Hill was funny, it would have been nice to have another comedian on the show. While Hill may be genuinely talented in another venue, on the AGT Stage she came off as another hack comedian. Her timing was off. The decent jokes were unoriginal. The bad jokes did not make sense. Hill’s best joke was “I got engaged by changing my Facebook statues to engaged.” It seems like every female comedian trying to come off as hip uses that joke. She was so terrible the audience in the theater was silent during her performance.

Eric Buss
Eric Buss needs to make better use of his time. His entire act consisted of setting off snake nut cans to a piece of classical music. No mature adult would find his “talent” even remotely interesting. Howie suggested that he get a job at Chuck E. Cheese, which is actually a great idea since kids would love Buss.

Romeo Dance Cheetah
If you would like to watch an air guitarist strumming his crotch, Rome0 Dance Cheetah is for you. Everyone else wishes this 80s hair metal band reject would go back to playing air guitar in front of his bathroom mirror.

The Magic of Puck
Puck is a good magician. His entire act was making a handkerchief dance. The judges main criticism of Puck was that the act seemed too small and intimate. Puck will probably go through because he was better than most of his competitors.

Bria Kelly
Bria Kelly is an excellent country singer, who could have a career tomorrow. She has a strong voice and is very confident. Kelly did scream a little bit during her performance, but she is still in the Top 2 of the night.

Cast in Bronze
Cast in Bronze was the only act that all 3 judges buzzed. He played the carillon, which is an instrument made up of bells. His act was boring. Sharon commented that “[she] didn’t know if she was in a department store at Christmas or listening to Quasimodo.”

Academy of Villians
Yesterday, AGT saved the best for last. Academy of Villains is a dance troupe that combines several types of dance in one performance. On the show, the group danced to “Bohemian Rhapsody” and Remy Ma’s “Whuteva.” The judges loved their routine.

Who will make it to the semi-finals?
This week it is obvious that Clint Carvalho, The Magic of Puck, Bria Kelly, and Academy of Villians will move on in the competition. While not all of the acts equally deserve to remain on AGT, the other 8 acts on last night’s show failed completely.