Monthly Archives: September 2013
Nothing Beside Remains: “Ozymandias” and the Downfall of Walter White
I met a traveler from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them, and the heart that fed;
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
-Percy Bysshe Shelley
Admit it. After this promo for the final eight episodes of Breaking Bad aired, you scrambled to your old English lit textbooks and scrutinized the hell out of Shelley’s “Ozymandias,” just waiting for the episode of the same name to air. The poem’s major themes coupled with the image of the weathered, beaten-down porkpie hat in the trailer did not bode well for Walt. Vince Gilligan saying this in an interview with TV Fanatic added an extra sense of ominousness to the episode (emphasis mine):
I think these last three episodes, not to overstate it, and you could say this about the last eight, but with these last three in particular you need to install a seat belt on your sofa, you need to wear a crash helmet and a diaper. [laughs] I tell ya, this next episode (entitled “Ozymandias”), I think for my money, is the best episode we ever had had or ever will have. It was written by Moira Walley-Beckett and directed by Rian Johnson.
I think people are going to have trouble breathing after this thing airs. It’s tremendous and it’s a great, great hour of television and I’m as proud as I can be of the two episodes that air after that one and both of them are a hell of a wild ride, too. I couldn’t be more proud of these final eight episodes or these last three episodes. I think they’re going to leave us with some sleepless nights.”
Needless to say, there was a lot of hype going into this episode, maybe a little too much. To say “Ozymandias” lived up to it, though, would be a severe understatement. If by “trouble breathing” Gilligan meant “holding your breath for an hour and biting off all of your fingernails and turning your Twitter feed into a constant flow of ‘OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT’ tweets and STARING OPEN-MOUTHED AT THE TELEVISION FOR 30 MINUTES AFTER THE EPISODE ENDED,” then yes, he was right.
Have You Tried Turning “The IT Crowd” On?
The IT Crowd, like many other Britcoms, seemed to have ended before its time. The show had four series, which is longer than most fan favorite British television shows. It ended not because it was cancelled, but because the writers decided to end the show. This is nearly unheard of, especially in America.
The IT Crowd was the brainchild of Graham Linehan who also created other popular britcoms Black Books and Father Ted. It centers around the three members of the IT department of Reynholm Industries: Roy Trenneman played by Chris O’Dowd, Maurice Moss played by Richard Ayoade. and the relationship manager Jen Barber is played by Katherine Parkinson. They have to deal with outrageous situations such as their crazy boss’ antics, thwarting a German cannibal, and accidentally getting involved in a bank heist all while helping people with their computer problems.
Conan Celebrates 20 Years In Late Night, We Look Back at ‘Late Night’
It’s hard to believe that Conan O’Brien has had a late night talk show for 20 years. Granted, he’s had three of them: Late Night with Conan O’Brien, The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien, and Conan, but that’s still no easy feat. He could have gone the way of Pat Sajak and Chevy Chase a long time ago. Actually, that was expected of him. Very few critics foresaw Conan having a long career and many, as demonstrated in this review from Entertainment Weekly, were unnecessarily harsh. It didn’t help that they were fueled by NBC’s decision to renew Conan’s Late Night contract on a weekly basis.
In hindsight, it is hard to watch Conan’s first night as host of Late Night, especially knowing the terrible treatment he received. Even hardcore Conan fans have to admit, on his first night, he was very green. To be fair, Conan did acknowledge it in a funny way and immediately addressed the fact that everyone kept hounding him with some variation of “better be as good as Letterman.” Conan had potential and viewers were willing to give him a chance, even though his bosses only kept renewing his contract because they had nothing else to throw on the air.
NBC’s ‘Ironside’ Early Preview
NBC’s latest foray into the crime-drama genre comes in the form of Ironside, a remake of a 1960s detective show. It follows Robert Ironside (Blair Underwood), a tough detective from New York City, who is confined to a wheelchair after an on the job shooting. Along with his team of hand picked detectives, he solves the toughest crimes in the city without letting his disability get in the way. Although television is no doubt over saturated with crime dramas and procedurals, ‘Ironside’ manages to infuse a bit of heart and intrigue into the all too familiar formula.
‘Thieves, Inc.’ Steals Food Network
Connie and Scott in and out of costume.
Food Network’s latest addition to its new Undercover Wednesdays is Thieves, Inc., which has Monument Security’s Connie Ribble and Scott McDonald steal from the clients. Store must be happy that these two are on their side because Connie and Scott don’t have to try very hard to successfully steal thousands of dollars worth of merchandise in a matter of minutes.
In the first episode, Connie and Scott helped the owner of a gourmet food store, Garden of Eden in New York City, catch thieves and improve his security. At first, Connie and Scott use the typical strategies thieves use, such as dressing up as someone who stocks shelves or using a baby to throw off suspicion. If they have no problem doing those, they get more brazen and start doing crazy things like stealing an entire food cart that was sitting outside in front of the store. Shockingly, no one notices and those who do don’t question. Granted, the store is in NYC, but even New Yorkers can only tolerate so much strange behavior. The fact that Connie and Scott get away with so much and dress up in crazy outfits makes the show fun to watch.
‘Heroes of Cosplay’: Nerd Culture Not At Its Best
Yaya Hun
I have a few bones to pick with Syfy’s newest nerd-based show, Heroes of Cosplay. Like, dinosaur-sized bones.
The art of cosplay, for the unenlightened, involves the meticulous crafting of costumes from pop culture; anything from TV, film, video games, comics, and loads of other media are fair play. Arguably one of the more expensive hobbies out there, cosplay combines hard work, craftsmanship, creativity, and a dash of theatricality. It offers a different kind of escapism, a chance to become your favorite character while building self-confidence. At the very least, Heroes of Cosplay succeeds in demonstrating these central tenements. The level of detail afforded for every costume unveiled on the show is staggering and gives me a decided inferiority complex as a casual cosplayer.
‘Welcome to the Family’ is a Welcome Addition to the NBC Family
Now that summer has finally gone, fall is finally coming into high gear. What’s great about fall is the leaves start changing, the weather gets cooler, everyone becomes obsessed with pumpkin flavor and the new shows premiering this season. Airing October 3rd, NBC has a new comedy entitled Welcome to the Family, which can currently be watched on Hulu. This show is about how two families come together brought on by an unplanned pregnancy. Not only do these families collide, but there cultures do as well. Having a Caucasian family and a Latino family come together as one will certainly bring on the fireworks.
The Yoder family and the Hernandez family are at their children’s graduation. Dan, who is played by Glee’s Mike O’Malley, notices through his camera lens his daughter, Molly is texting at graduation. He points out to his wife, Caroline, that their daughter is texting in the middle of graduation. It’s sad to say how typical it is now; students are so use to relying on their phone that they can’t let them go. They need to be tweeting, updating their Facebook statuses or else they feel lost in the world. Not only wouldn’t they know what’s going on with everyone else, but it also kills time for them. Who wants to sit through the boring speeches when you’re just waiting for your diploma?
Molly’s boyfriend, Junior, is the valedictorian of his school and is Stanford bound. He begins to give a speech to his fellow classmates. As he continues to read the speech off his iPad, he notices a message from his girlfriend saying “I’m pregnant.” Everyone becomes confused as a long awkward silence lingers on in the gymnasium floor. So to break the awkward tension, Junior’s dad, Chuey Herndandez, is the first to stand and applaud his son for having a “short and sweet” speech.
Coming home from graduation, Molly just throws her graduation gown on the stairs and throws her diploma in the living room as if she doesn’t have a care in the world. She was happy to have skated by throughout her high school years. Her dad, Dan, says “Be careful with that, that’s our proof.” Molly doesn’t want to celebrate with her parents, so she decides to “bounce” and opts to spend time with her boyfriend. She asks her dad if he can return her cap and gown as if she doesn’t want to own up to her responsibility.
Molly’s parents are so happy that she graduated that they decided to make her room into a home gym. “She’s Arizona State’s problem now,” Dan says in glee. Clearly, he doesn’t know what’s about to come next.
‘The Million Second Quiz’: All Hype, No Substance
NBC is attempting to make game shows an event again, which isn’t going to happen with The Million Second Quiz. That’s because the show is boring. While Ryan Seacrest is likeable, he talks too much. To make matters worse, most of this chatter is about contestants that viewers only watching the hour in primetime will never get to see play the game or about how line jumpers became contestants. Clearly, NBC didn’t think through the fact that no one will be sitting at home watching the live stream for the remaining 23 hours a day.
When Ryan isn’t talking, the show is the lovechild of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? and Twenty One with NBC’s version of the Prize Patrol surprising line jumpers, who are contestants that have been playing from the comfort of their own home and now will be flown to New York City to play the game for money, thrown in for good measure. Like daytime Millionaire, every questions has four possible answers. The elements taken from Twenty One are the fact that two contestants answer the questions at the same time and the “doubler,” which is explained in the rules below.
‘Rachael vs. Guy’: Precocious Kids Take Over
Rachael Ray and Brandon Scawthorn
After two seasons of teaching celebrities to cook, Rachael and Guy have decided to turn their sights on improving the talents of child prodigies. Unlike past seasons of Rachel vs. Guy, no one will be eliminated. Instead, each week the kids will received grades and two MVPs will be chosen, one from each team. The winner will be whoever has the highest score at the end of the competition. The grand prize is a cooking show on Food Network’s website.
In the first episode of Rachel vs. Guy: Kids Cook-off, we are introduced to the eight contestants. For Team Rachael, Hunter Zampa, Brandon Scawthorn, Hailie Thomas, and Jack Witherspoon will be competing. Team Guy’s contestants are Sydney McCoy, Cole Malouin, Alessandra Ciuffo, and Daniel Hamilton.
Even though it has only been one episode, there are already some obvious leaders. Boisterous Alessandra is a larger than life, friendly Italian-American from Queens, who would invite you over for dinner and then send you home with a ton of leftovers that you’ll love, but will be eating for a month. Hunter knows the most about food and can talk intelligently about it. He also likes to cook venison and fish because his dad is a hunter and fisherman. However, he is also probably the most likely to accidentally kill someone with his fondness for spicy foods. Cole still needs to work on his camera presences, but with a little practice he will be a mini Alton Brown. In 10 years, Cole could totally have a show where he makes food in unusual ways.
Breaking Bad: “To’Hajiilee” Comes Full Circle
Way back when the cast of Breaking Bad was doing its first read-throughs of the final eight episodes, Aaron Paul took to his Twitter to express the following about “To’Hajiilee”:
So am I, Aaron. So am I. There was a little bit of shouting at the television, a couple of incoherent texts to my brother, and way too much nail-biting. This episode lived up to and exceeded Paul’s assessment.
This week’s cold open picked up a few minutes before where last week’s episode left off – just from the other end of Walt’s phone call. Lydia is observing Todd in his lab along with his uncle and one of his men. Though the finished product is purer than it had been with Declan at the helm, it’s still only at 76%, or about 20 percentage points fewer than what Lydia and her European customers grew used to. Lydia, clad in a blue coat, expects the blue stuff, and so do her buyers. Jack suggests that they add food coloring to the mix, something Walt’s competitors used to do way back when. Todd and Lydia chat and after his weird attempt at seduction (?) and she heads out. Todd watches her go while running his finger over the lipstick stain on her mug. Again, weird. His phone rings and, as expected, it’s Walt requesting his uncle’s service.
Wait! What's A Dial? 