Category Archives: Cable
‘Cutthroat Kitchen’ Is ‘Chopped’ For Jerks
Cutthroat Kitchen is the food competition genre’s jump the shark moment. Food Network took the basic formula of Chopped and made some minor changes that cheapen the concept.
Chopped has four competitors take unusual ingredients and attempt to make the best dish possible. After each round, one person is eliminated. At the end of the third round, a winner is decided. Skill and creativity win Chopped. There is no sabotage. Cutthroat Kitchen‘s producers took one look at that format and said “forget skills, let’s give the contestants money and have them screw each other over repeatedly,” resulting in a show that targets the coveted aspiring sadist demographic and everyone else finds off-putting. Even if you find the concept intriguing, anyone with a conscience will watch five minutes and give up because they have standards.
‘Breaking Bad’: Tread Lightly Because Heisenberg’s Back
After what had to be the longest bathroom trip in history, Breaking Bad finally returned on Sunday following an 11-month break. Like many viewers expected, Vince Gilligan and company delivered. The season five second-half premiere was tense from start to finish – it was hard to remember to breathe. But who would have expected anything else?
“Blood Money” began with a handful of twenty-somethings skateboarding in an empty pool. It became clear that they were in the backyard of the White residence once one caught air and went just beyond the lip of the pool. Sure enough, we got a view of the front of the house, now fenced in and dilapidated. Future Walt pulls up in his now-familiar Volvo and enters the abandoned home, now featuring the word “Heisenberg” spray-painted in large letters across a wall. Walt retrieves his hidden stash of ricin and leaves the house, only to be seen by his visibly shaken neighbor Carol, who promptly drops her bag of groceries once she realizes who she’s looking at. She’s terrified. Leave it to Walt to think he’d be able to slip into his condemned home unseen. His invincibility complex never ceases to amaze. The amount of time that’s passed from where “Gliding Over All” ended to where this episode began is unclear, but one thing is certain: shit went down, and it was bad.
A-scare-ica: The Rise of Horror in American Television
I have a theory that nightmares are our brain’s way of saying “hey, your life could be worse,” which is why the horror genre is increasingly becoming popular in television. So what if you have crippling debt because of student loans. At least, you don’t have to kill your zombified friends and family. According to this CBC article, that’s why zombies are so popular.
There is no doubting that times are tough. When you find yourself in times of trouble, mother television comes on to make things all better. Since the dawn of primetime, TV has always been an escape from our daily lives. It’s why we never saw our favorite nuclear TV families broken apart by war. Instead of living vicariously through our favorite TV characters like we used to, we’re saying, “hey, my life could be worse”.
True Blood (HBO)
True Blood came out in the height of that whole Twilight fad that some of us don’t like mentioning being part of. I remember girls complaining that True Blood was a blatant rip off of the saga. Aside from having vampires, the protagonist happens to have telepathic abilities, just like a certain sparkly vampire. Except The Southern Vampire Mysteries that inspired the TV show came out before Stephanie Meyer dreamed up Twilight.
The difference between True Blood and any other vampire movie or TV show is that it dealt with current issues. Gay rights to be specific. This is made obvious by the “God hates Fangs” sign in the intro, which is a lovely jab at The Westboro Baptist Church. The show has continued to use vampires as an allegory for the LGBT community. You know, vampires are people too!
Despite airing in the summer, which is usually a death sentence, this show became insanely popular. So popular that HBO has been pushing out more and more TV shows ever since its 2008 debut. Since so many people took time out of their busy summer schedules of doing nothing, it showed that horror is something channels should strive toward.
Military Channel’s ‘America: Fact vs. Fiction’ Sets the Record Straight
Continuing, this week’s trend of articles about shows you should be watching on channels you probably don’t watch is America: Fact vs. Fiction on the Military Channel.
America: Fact vs. Fiction is perfect for history buffs and high school history classes with two weeks left until summer vacation. The shows target audience unusual because those who are true history buffs will already know a lot of the facts presented on the show, but those who could learn something from the America: Fact vs. Fiction will never know that this show exists. However, people who love history will enjoy trying to catch mistakes in the information the show claims is true.
CNBC Knows How To Make ‘The Profit’
CNBC is not the first place most people would turn to at all, especially for primetime programming. Other Mad Money with screaming lunatic Jim Cramer and maybe Squawk Box, few people can name a show on CNBC. While most people will ignore The Profit simply because its on a channel more concerned with the Dow Jones Industrial Average than providing mainstream entertainment, they will be missing out a show that is in the same mold as Tabatha’s Salon Takeover and the extremely popular Restaurant Impossible.
Good Food Trumps Good Marketing On ‘Food Court Wars’
Food Court Wars spiced up the Burnsville Mall’s food court with Slum Dogz and Pimento Jamaican Kitchen. Siblings Aaron Skoglund, who was adopted from India, and Kirsten Shabaz decided to create Slum Dogz as a tribute to Aaron’s Indian heritage. There concept centered around adding Indian flavors to hot dogs. Yoni Reinharz and Jamaican-born Tomme Beevas from Pimento Jamaican Kitchen were also bringing the heat with jerk chicken and other Jamaican specialties.
As usual, Day 1’s challenge involved trying to please an important group of mall goers. Tyler Florence announced that the two teams had to impress kids and their parents. Kids don’t like heat, so both teams attempted to tone down the spiciness in their signature dishes. Slum Dogz was a little more successful, but barely.
‘Spell-Mageddon’ Tries To Make Torture Fun
Did you ever wonder what would happen if Nickelodeon threw up all over a spelling bee? No. Well, too bad because ABC Family answered that question with Spell-Mageddon. The Alfonso Ribero hosted show would be at home on 90s Nick. The only problem is some of the situations are straight up torture, so the show is more terrorist’s nightmare than messy kid-friendly entertainment.
The show doesn’t start off too bad, but quickly gets boring. The first round has contestants maneuver over a blow-up obstacle course. The first person to reach the end and buzz in gets to spell a word. If the contestant gets it correct, they get to move on to the next round and the process is repeated over and over again. In total, viewers see the same thing six times in a row. While the obstacle course undoubtedly gets harder, the final round has the contestants wearing vision impairment goggles, no one cares because they are still watching basically the same thing and just wasted time that could have been better spent doing anything else like being unproductive on Facebook.
Hanging Out In the ‘Writers’ Room’
Community‘s Jim Rash hosts Sundance’s Writers’ Room, which reveals what it’s like inside the writers’ rooms of televisions most popular shows. The show is not for everyone. Two types of people will like it: fans of the show being featured on that week’s episode and aspiring television writers, who will tune in for every episode. The former group will only watch an episode or two. They will agree with Zap2it‘s assessment of the show feeling like “a glorified DVD box set extra.” Aspiring television writers will disagree because the show provides important insight into how a writers’ room operates, such as some people stressing over how the story progresses and others taking the role of cheerleader.
‘Food Court Wars’: Chip N Wich vs Oasis
Chip-n-Wich’s Jonathan and Craig pose with Oasis’s Melania and Diana
If Food Court Wars taught viewers one thing, it’s that previous experience owning a restaurant does not guarantee an easy win. Like Taco Spot, Oasis’s Melania Paser and Diana Hadad, who owns World Cafe, faced stiff competition from newcomers Craig Jones and Jonathan Neely, who both have experience as line chefs and would like to get Chip-n-Wich off the ground.
Chip-n-Wich is the “sandwich with a crunch.” In layman’s terms, Craig and Jonathan place homemade potato chips on their sandwiches. It’s a good idea, but Team Chip-n-Wich need to stop passing it off as original because Bobby Flay and probably a million other people have done it first.
Oasis started off as food from every Mediterranean country, which was way too broad. With the help of Tyler Florence, Melania and Diana were able to narrow their menu down to solely Lebanese food.
Who’s the Problem on ‘Wedding Island?’
Sandy Malone
In last week’s review of Wedding Island, I called Sandy Malone, head of Weddings in Vieques, not a very nice person. This post will attempt to be fairer to her.
Wedding Island subscribes to the philosophy that anything that can go wrong will. Sandy always has to deal with other people’s major mistakes, such as a restaurant called Lazy Jack’s booking two wedding parties on the same night. She claims that the owner decided to book the another group over her’s because they were paying more money. The owner made it sound like it was a genuine mistake and someone misplaced their reservation, but Sandy’s attitude made him not want to make the situation right. Instead, he told her to get lost and that he doesn’t need her business. On the show, scenarios like this happen all the time. This time it worked out because anther restaurant down the street was able to accommodate the 20 guests, but Sandy stressed everyone out and made a scene by arguing with Lazy Jack’s owner in the middle of the street. Do people on Vieques not respect her because she doesn’t respect them?
Wait! What's A Dial? 